


Ugly Sweater

by orphan_account



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, Getting Together, Holidays, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-25
Updated: 2017-12-25
Packaged: 2019-02-20 09:27:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13143783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Shane hates the holidays. Specifically this holiday because he lost a bet. And the sweater is awful.





	Ugly Sweater

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little holiday ficlet for you guys. Enjoy!

Shane fucking hated holiday parties. For lots of reasons, but the main one this year was that he lost a fucking bet to Keith. He and Ryan both, actually. It had been a stupid bet to take, that each of their upcoming shows’ episodes would hit one hundred views faster than the other. Try Guys had won - by about thirty seconds - and Shane and Ryan had to face the consequences.

Consequences in this case, they’d learned, was a two person holiday sweater that showed up on their desks with a note.

‘I expect to get photos. Holiday party. You lose.’

“Do we have to? I can pretend I’m sick,” Ryan suggested when Shane held up the sweater in the bathroom of the office. The music from the party filtered through the closed and locked door. Both stood in their jeans and plain white t-shirts, staring at the gaudy fabric monstrosity. It was the Frankenstein monster of ugly sweaters; a stitched together piece - one side green, one side red. The green side had a stocking and a pile of presents with the words ‘I’m Nice’ emblazoned on it. The red side had a pile of coal, spilling out of stocking with ‘I’m Naughty’.

“I hate everything about this,” Shane lamented.

“Well, good news... It’s only one night.”

“Well aren’t you just a ball of fucking joy,” Shane grumbled. “Climb into the sweater, short shit, and let’s get this over with.”

Ryan rolled his eyes, grumbling as he wiggled into his side of the sweater; the nice side. Shane worked himself into his side, a little bit of maneuvering to get the sweater settled over both of them.

Shane laughed when he looked in the  mirror, sliding his arm around Ryan’s back under the sweater. “Glad we do the show now; we’re used to close quarters. We look fucking ridiculous.”

“Let’s just get this over with.” They walked toward the door, taking a few moments to figure out exactly how to work together to maneuver in the awkward shirt.

If they thought they felt silly looking in the mirror, the expressions on the faces of their coworkers were a thousand times worse.

Sara and Ned immediately snapped about it, Eugene mentioned something about Instagram, and Keith had that smirk. That fucking smirk that - at this moment - Shane had never wanted to slap off his face more.

But they endured. It only took half an hour - and lots of teasing - to figure out how to help one another eat and drink. Walking was a breeze after a while, though their first bathroom break was a little awkward. For Shane at least. Of course, he’d been harboring an intense crush on Ryan for at least as long as they’d worked together. Not that Ryan would ever notice. Or care. Shane was most definitely  _not_  his type.

Overall, it turned out to be a pretty okay party. Shane and Ryan were enjoying themselves, despite the teasing and their forced proximity all night; it was all in good fun after all. The music was decent, the food was good, and the decorations were beautiful.

A few hours in, Jen called them over to a less crowded corner. She was standing with Eugene and Zach, drinks in hand.

“How’s it been?” She asked when they neared her.

“What?”

“Stuck together. Gotta be an experience.”

“Not too bad. I get along with this asshole okay, so.”

“Okay, that’s enough,” Shane teased, a light smirk on his lips.

“How well do you get along?” Jen asked, her lips curving into a smirk.

“Um. Well we do a show together,” Ryan said. His voice was halted, confused by the question.

Zach chuckled. “Yeah, true. How about you, Shane? How well do  _you_  get along with Ryan?”

Shane blinked, wondering for a moment if he was drunker than he’d thought.

“I-- What’s wrong with you guys?”

Eugene smirked. “Look up, maybe.”

Shane and Ryan both tilted their heads up. Just above their heads, out of sight of even Shane’s height, was a sprig of mistletoe, glinting off the lights of the party.

“No.”

“Come on,” Shane muttered, his shoulders slumping.

“Does this even count? I mean aren’t we  _technically_  one person right now?” Ryan asked. Shane tried to ignore the twinge of pain in his chest at that; was Ryan that against a kiss?

“Nope. It counts. And you don’t wanna break holiday rules, do you?” Jen teased.

Ryan chewed his lip, looking up at Shane. “It’s.. I mean it’s one kiss.”

Shane shook his head. “No way, it’s a stupid tradition.”

“Yeah, but... All in good fun.”

Shane laughed, panic bubbling up in his throat. Ryan continued to watch him, clearly not backing down. Was this really going to happen? After months - years - of crushing on Ryan - the  _one_ kiss. Now?

He gave in, shrugging. “We’re already humiliated. I hate you all,” he said, aimed at their grinning friends. He and Ryan shifted a little so they were facing one another as well as they could in the ridiculous sweater. Ryan’s lips were parted and he laughed a little, a nervous little sound that bubbled up from his throat.

“We’ll be quick,” Shane promised. Ryan nodded quickly, wetting his lips as Shane took a steadying breath and leaned down.

Their lips met, awkward at first. They found a quick rhythm though, mouths slotting together and noses brushing. Ryan’s free hand slid up, cupping Shane’s jaw. Shane wrapped the arm in the sweater around Ryan’s back, tugging him a little closer. The noise from the party faded away for Shane, leaving only the sounds of the blood pounding in his ears and the quiet little noises Ryan was making into his mouth. Ryan -- He was kissing Ryan. And Ryan was kissing him back -  _really_  well.

They separated after what felt like forever, and Shane blinked a few times before he remembered where he was - and that their friends were watching. They looked over, a little surprised to find their friends much further away, pointedly  _not_  paying attention to them.

Ryan’s eyes narrowed.

“That was--“

“I feel like that was a set up,” Shane agreed. He looked at Ryan. “Do you like me?”

“What? Of course -- Dude I’ve been crushing on you since we met.”

“You’re-- How the fuck didn’t I know?”

Ryan shrugged. “You’re an idiot?”

“Shut up. They knew?”

“I talked to Eugene about it. He must’ve told Keith to set this up. Fuckin’ elaborate way to just get his friends to hook up,” Ryan grumbled.

Shane laughed, shaking his head. Under the sweater, he reached out, finding Ryan’s hand and squeezing it. “So we’ve been here almost three hours. I think we’ve fulfilled our humiliation quota for losing the bet... How about we go maybe... Finish the night off in a different way?”

Ryan shook his head, chuckling. “I’m not some easy lay, Made.”

“Never said you were. Or that I wanted sex tonight, you little pervert. I meant some drinks at the bar and then maybe a movie at my place.”

“Right, like  _that_  isn’t code for ‘let’s get drunk and fuck’.”

Shane shrugged. “Fine, suit yourself. Guess the kiss wasn’t all that good.” He dropped Ryan’s hand  and turned his head. Ryan punched him in the side.

“Don’t be a dick. I want to go out with you, idiot. I just wanted you to know I wasn’t gonna put out for you.”

“I wouldn’t ask you to, Ryan. I just wanted to hang out with you in a way that  _didn’t_ require us to be tied together with the most gaudy sweater in existence.”

Ryan shook his head. “Fine. Let’s go get out of this thing and go for that drink. You’re buying.”

“Of course, I’m a gentleman. Unlike you, obsessed with whether or not you’re gonna put out. Who even  _says_ that anymore?”

Ryan rolled his eyes good naturally and grabbed Shane’s hand under the sweater before leading him toward the bathroom to remove the awful thing before they left. “Shut up, Shane.”


End file.
